How your core wounds are impacting your relationship with money
We all have a relationship with money that has been formed from childhood experiences, our financial history and our subconscious thoughts, beliefs, patterns and behaviour. Unless we actively and consciously uncover these beliefs and re-program them, they will continue to be in the drivers seat dictating our financial reality.
We also have core wounds which are a major source of mental and emotional stress, they are the source of our unhappiness and cause the challenges we experience in our lives. The more we resist looking at our wounds, the more power they have over us. We explore how our core wounds are influencing our subconscious and therefore our financial reality.
There are three main core wounds, the fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection and the fear of betrayal. Let’s go through them.
The fear of abandonment
The fear of abandonment is the overwhelming fear that people will leave you either physically, emotionally and/or financially and is surprisingly common.
How the fear of abandonment shows up around money
It may seem strange to apply the fear of abandonment to money and finances, however our core wounds impact our financial reality more than we realise.
The fear of abandonment can show up around money in the following ways:
- People pleasing - under charging, not asking for pay-rises, poor boundaries around working
- Fear of losing success - also leads to overworking and burnout
- Need for constant reassurance that you're making the right financial decision
- Constantly flitting between different business ideas
- Struggling to make your own financial decisions - outsourcing things and not understanding what's going on (this can be to professionals or a spouse)
The fear of rejection
Biologically we are wired with a need to belong, to be part of the pack or group and therefore fear being rejected, cut off from people, isolated or seen in a negative light. Human beings want to be accepted and wanted or needed.
How the fear of rejection shows up around money
Our fear of rejection shows up around money in a number of ways. We may be afraid that rejection means we are unlovable or not worthy and deserving of having money which can result in us becoming perfectionists, numbing our feelings, dimming our light if we think we are too much for others and having feelings of shame, guilt and anger around money.
- Perfectionism – you become paralysed and freeze not able to make financial decisions
- Numbing feelings by ignoring them with gambling, shopping, drugs, food, alcohol and/or exercise leading to poor financial choices
- Shame, guilt, anger and more self-judgement – feeling like you should be further ahead which adds more shame and more guilt
- Avoiding attention & becoming invisible to avoid being judged such as not pursuing career advancements and staying in your comfort zone
The fear of betrayal
Betrayal feels like the double whammy of abandonment and rejection, it’s pre-meditated where the person betraying knows what is going on and the betrayed does not. The shock of it can leave us feeling like our sense of security is being threatened.
How the fear of betrayal shows up around money
The fear of betrayal can show up around money in the following ways:
- Being envious of others and what they have causing money to be repelled against you
- Feeling unworthy and not deserving of having money
- The need to control and often hoard money as a deep seeded belief that you will never have enough
- Distrust of money and/or success
https://moneymindsetcoaching.com.au/program-self-paced/As you can see, these core wounds if left unresolved can have an incredible impact on our financial reality. This is one of the areas we cover in the Money Mindset for Goals Based Advice Course, for more information click here.
